Here I am taking a moment to reflect while things for Issue #01 "process" and "save" and "load." I must be insane. I'm running on three hours of sleep. Not sure why I stayed up so late. I just want my weekend (a trip to the drive-in tonight to see Wall-E, maybe? Saturday is all Steve Miller Band - FREE tickets!!!). As of today, I am a cranky, bra-less, determined bitch.

I was awakened at 9AM (after staying up til daylight) to find that the dog had shit beside the bed (NO, I didn't step in it - but I had to clean it up PRE-coffee). It must have been that taco I fed him last night . . . This morning is more Work. Work. Work. No feedback. I am taking way too huge of a risk (hence, the certain insanity). All that I've ingested is coffee and a banana since 7PM last night. My house is a wreck. The dog is chewing all of his hair off thanks to those wicked southern fleas, and he's left little black tufts all over the fucking place. I did finally take the trash out, but not before it had spawned gnats. I've got my three year old playing dress-up games on the computer (she's pretty good, actually). My little nephew has been absorbed into the p.o.v. of an alien who sounds like Jack Nicholson: "Destroy All Humans" (X-box). My husband keeps calling stressed about his work because being the new guy to a two man office - the other guy suffered a heart attack yesterday (surprise!). Matt doesn't even have an office key let alone does he know half of what he's doing. He is alone in Indy airport sprawl office hell. I am waiting on him to come running home with his tail between his legs (he could easily say never mind and come home jobless - we're still young, sorta'), but so far so good. He's a determined character too. So, he's called me a couple of times this morning, and we've bitched into each other's ears.

Ya' know, it's pretty presumptuous of me to put so much work into something . . . I keep assuming that so many will care or that so many are watching. But it's more likely that only a few will look it over (and they won't come close to seeing all of it), and they'll likely just shrug and move on. At least this is what I am telling myself to get me through this afternoon. Must get through this afternoon. Then, when and if Matt gets home, I will nap.

The kicker: I just smoked my last cigarette.

I still have to upload the whole new site to siteground and pray that it goes smoothly. Let's all join hands and pray to the virtual beings that may/may not exist and be watching over such things. Shall we encircle the laptop? Praise be the wireless connection. I've still got it, but, still, I've lost other vital things (e.g., my mind).